Little Lobbyists Remember Those Lost on Disability Day of Mourning

Each year on March 1, the disability community unites in a Day of Mourning to honor the memory of disabled people who have been killed by a family member or caregiver. Little Lobbyists will be holding a virtual candlelight vigil, and we invite you to join us. The Autistic Self-Advocacy Network (ASAN) is holding a virtual vigil between 5 and 7 pm that evening. 

All too often, an unforgivable and criminal pattern plays out when a parent or caregiver murders their disabled child or family member. Instead of accountability, the murderers are often met with sympathy. Instead of justice, the victims are often forgotten. This must stop. 

“Our society’s reactions to filicide reflect our beliefs about disability. When parents of kids without disabilities murder their children, we are universally united in condemnation. It is only when the victim is disabled that we pause. It is only when the victim is disabled that we are encouraged to understand. This is a double standard, and it reveals dangerous things about our beliefs,” explains ASAN. 

We must condem filicide, which is the murder of a child by their parent or caregiver. Frequently, filicides are met with unconscionable suggestions that parenting or caring for a disabled person is difficult, condemning the victim as a “burden.” As a society and as individuals, we can never excuse the murder of a disabled person.

Our disabled children must know, without a doubt, from our words and our actions that they matter, that their lives have value, and that we love them. On this Disability Day of Mourning, we honor the humanity of our disabled children and friends. We support them, believe in them, love them, and vow to continue working toward creating a world that is worthy of them.

Resources:

• If a filicide happens in your community, contact ASAN (info@autisticadvocacy.org), which keeps records of these crimes and can provide you with resources for next steps. 

• Find out more about your state’s hate crimes legislation and take action. 

• Download ASAN’s Anti-Filicide Toolkit and learn about ways to change the conversation about filicide, center the victim, and end ableism. 

[image description: A peach-colored candle is lit against a black and aqua mottled backdrop]