Gifts I Am Sharing with My Son (by Rico Winston)
Rico Winston and his son Israel
I am the proud father of an amazing little boy, created and designed by God, individually and perfectly, who has a diagnosis on the autism spectrum, and whose name is Israel. As a man of color raising a little boy of African ancestry who has a diagnosis on the autism spectrum, I worry about my son's future.
I'm concerned about how America and the world will look at him--what inequality and racial divides will be awaiting him? There are two things that Israel cannot change, and these are the color of his skin and the fact that he has a diagnosis on the autism spectrum.
As a parent it is my responsibility to Israel to recognize these two facts that he cannot change. These realities do not make him lesser or greater than another. The only thing that will make him great is the content of his heart and his willingness to accept and find value in others, no matter what differences they may have. I'm teaching him that individuality is a gift, and to accept and appreciate the individuality in each human being.
Each of us has had our pleasant, and I'm sure not so pleasant, experiences during the COVID-19 pandemic. One of the positive factors for me has been the opportunity to learn and observe Israel's strengths and weaknesses, as related to his education. Israel, will be entering the fifth grade this upcoming school year. He is accustomed to being in a physical classroom environment with his teachers and peers. Virtual schooling has created an uncomfortable and unfamiliar learning environment, accompanied with anxiety, not only for Israel, but myself as well.
While Israel has had a tendency of being easy to please, during the pandemic, he has been a good self-advocate. Israel has been very clear with his occupational and speech therapists about his dissatisfaction with virtual learning, and that he needs in-person instruction. Israel would like to return to school in the fall, but, of course, how the Baltimore schools will proceed is not yet clear.
As a parent and an advocate for my son, I am committed and obligated to find what fits and works for Israel's educational and spiritual development so that he may develop into the best human being he was created and designed to be. There has been a dirty, ugly reality swept under America's rug for so long, which some cannot see and some continue to ignore, and that is "the wrong color of skin," which has led to racial disparity and injustice.
However, there has been a resurgence of the awareness that black lives matter, and that black disabled lives matter. I was a little boy when one of the amazing heroes who fought against social injustice and disparity for black lives, people of color, was murdered. This magnificent hero and man was Dr. Martin Luther King.
In Washington D.C., on 28 August 1963, at the Lincoln Memorial, there was a timeless speech given by Dr. King, entitled, "I Have a Dream." The sad reality--which makes this remarkable speech timeless – is, as a whole, America and every American hasn't reached that "mountain top," so it's still a dream, Dr. King's dream, and now my dream.
"I have a dream that one day on the red hills of Georgia, sons of former slaves and sons of former slave-owners will be able to sit down together at the table of brotherhood … I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character.”
If I had the opportunity to add anything to the “I Have a Dream” speech, this is what I would add:
“I have a dream that...little black boys and black girls will be able to join hands with little white boys and white girls” and that all children, no matter the color of their skin, or if they have autism, are in a wheelchair, visually impaired or hearing impaired, no matter what challenges or differences, that they will be accepted and recognized as individuals, and valued for their unique individuality.
I am raising Israel so that he will be accepting of the color of someone's skin, and accepting of the differences and challenges of others. Some of these differences are apparent, and some are not.
Tolerance, acceptance, advocating for self and others are gifts that I am sharing with my son. What gifts are you, as a parent sharing with your child? Prejudice and bigotry start at home. Like an inheritance or an heirloom, they are taught and passed down through generations. We all need to ask ourselves, what are we passing down?
There is only one race and we all belong to that one race. No matter our unique individual differences, we all belong to the same race, the only race, the human race.
I want to extend my appreciation and gratitude to Little Lobbyists, for all that they have done and continue to do for my son Israel and all children and individuals who have unique challenges and obstacles, as well as the support they have given me as a parent.
Rico Winston is a commitee member of the Friends of C.A.R.D (Center for Autism at The Kennedy Krieger institute), a member of The Spark for Autism Community Advisory Council, and the founder & director of The Israel Winston Family Empowerment Corp., a nonprofit organization. He is currently completing the Arc of Maryland’s Partners in Policymaking course to increase his advocacy skills for people with disabilities.
Israel Winston enjoys horseback riding and is currently a student of the martial arts.