Alexis' Story: Anyone Can Be an Advocate
Little Lobbyists mom Alexis Stadler shares what it's like to advocate with lawmakers, talk to media, and represent Little Lobbyists in the community.
My name is Alexis Stadler. I live in North Carolina with my husband Derek and two girls, Charlotte and Kinsley. You can read more about Kinsley here; she is our family’s ray of sunshine and is also medically complex. She needs nursing care, constant medical appointments, numerous medications, and lots of community support to live and thrive with us at home. Cuts to Medicaid would devastate our family and we watch Congress propose to do just that with heavy hearts.
When my friend Stacy Staggs reached out to me over the summer on very short notice to ask if I was willing to travel with Kinsley to Washington, DC, to talk to our elected officials about Medicaid, obviously I said yes. We packed up and made the trip. I talked with lawmakers, media, and anyone else we could corner because I have a big mouth, I’m not afraid to say what I mean, and advocating for my child and all medically complex children is essential.
Many families are new to this work and it can feel intimidating, but it’s important for you to know that at the end of the day, these are the people who were elected to represent us. It’s their job to hear our concerns. Their job is to listen to us. We want to be able to say we did everything we could to speak up for whatever we’re advocating for.
I never set out to be an advocate or an activist. It just happened with the circumstances that my family was dealt—and turning 30 and caring a whole lot less about what other people think definitely gave me some additional courage. I remind myself that when I close my eyes at night, I need to know that I did everything I could for not only my children but other children facing the same things we are facing. Whether that means speaking to Congresspeople, attending and speaking at county commission meetings, or being interviewed, I am doing everything in my power to make the voices of those who need hearing unavoidable. I’m even running for school board in my district to make sure our amazing teachers get fair pay and our kids have the quality educations they deserve.
My big advice for parents who are nervous is that I am an expert in my child and no one can argue with me about my children’s needs. Remember that’s why you’re there. You’re an expert in that, you may not be a policy or legal expert, but you’re an expert on the care your child receives. These are people who are working for us, for the American people, they have to listen to you.
Anyone can be an advocate. You don’t have to have special experience or training. Anyone can do it. You just have to have the courage, and you’re not alone; Little Lobbyists is here with you.
Practically, I always recommend that you try to travel with another parent, someone who gets it, because it’s easy to feel overwhelmed and having some backup is really helpful. Ask for accommodations if you need them. Advocate for yourself and others. Travel snafus will happen! Bringing partners and other members of the family also builds in some support, allows them to be active advocates too, and shows lawmakers the fierce love we have for each other.
If your child has a CNA, nurse, or another support person, bring them along too if you can. They’ll help with care needs, but also get a chance to see and participate in advocacy firsthand. It’s important for them to see that, for lawmakers to see that and understand that our children’s lives involve a huge constellation of people who also suffer when Medicaid and other programs we count on are cut or eliminated.
Your voice is important in the media too. Medically complex children and their families are rarely represented and we know putting a personal face on our experience helps people think differently. When you do media appearances or get covered in the media, do not read the comments! People can be cruel and you don’t need to see that. If you hate the sound of your own voice, don’t listen back to radio and television appearances. You’ll only second-guess yourself.
The bottom line is that anyone can be an advocate. You don’t have to have special experience or training. Anyone can do it. You just have to have the courage, and you’re not alone; Little Lobbyists is here with you.